Chapter Two

I've been part of the not-in-a-relationship world for about 6 months now. That's half a year for my Chapter One. For the purpose of my melodramatic corny mood, let's name that chapter, The Aftermath.

And how has it been? Not bad. It's been great. :) Work is enriching, and the people I'm with are a handful of morons. Morons like me, morons that make me laugh, morons that I love. My worklife really has been a blessing, keeping me busy and teaching me to enjoy life.

Ze Morons

I honestly feel like a teenager all over again. Wait scrap that. I feel like I'm only being a teenager now. I haven't really been this free, this sociable, and easygoing. It's such an accomplishment that I've been drinking (do not paint a wasted girl's picture yet, I have good control -- which is kind of a bummer when i feel like drinking to get really wasted, if you ask me.) out and having dinners/tambay with workmates on weekdays, spontaneous dinners with my bestfriends, and talking more with friends that I've lost touch with since I've been in a relationship. 

In retrospect, I was a good lover, but a terrible friend. And I will never let that happen again. When I enter into a new relationship, I'll make sure to still get my friends up in the picture. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here...

I like what one of my bosses said when he learned that I "just" got out of a 4andahalf year relationship. "Okay lang yan. I-enjoy mo lang."

It's the simplest, most uncomplicated advice I have received, but he said it at such a timing that I was able absorb its most bare meaning. I-enjoy mo lang. And that's what I am doing now.

I am not the type of person to enjoy life through mixers, dating, or "meeting new people" in random (or not so random) places. That's just not me. I prefer the organic way of things. The slow growth of feelings, developing something that wasn't really intended, knowing that bonds have been formed beneath just the romance. I'm a romantic like that. May or may not be obvious IRL though. Hihi.

So when I say enjoying, it's really more of being able to look at life with nothing to worry about. I have the world in my hands. I will be turning 25 later this year and I am lucky that I am enjoying and experiencing life at this phase. I feel like my decisions matter more, what I say and do have legit consequences, and that I am a part of the world and the world is a part of me. 

Why end Chapter One at 6months? Because I was able to talk with ex just last night. 

I recently marched at UP to officiallize (such a word?) my graduation even though I've been working for about 5 months now. To cut the story short, I was inviting some of my batchmates/orgmates to go out for dinner and catchup. My graduation is a good excuse to force that. Haha. One of my orgmates wanted ex to come, and of course, knowing that ex and I are okay now, I texted him. oh wait. I think I have to define "ex and I are okay now" first.

Rewind:

The details are unimportant, but I forgot to tell you about us meeting earlier this year to return a few things to each other. No, it's not like those cheesy gift-returning things. He gave back my external optical drive and 2 books, and I returned his book too. These are important things. Haha. The meetup was good, we updated each other about our lives/work, and it was at this meetup where I realized that we really are better friends than lovers. To make you understand it more, pareho kaming may pagka-gago. Haha. The friend connection is still there even though the romantic side has ended. I'm proud that we're mature that way.

Fast forward to our conversation last night. The biggest update I received was that --- he now has a new girlfriend.

How would you react to that? Seriously, do not continue reading yet. Think about it, and try to think of how to process that kind of news.

Reacting isn't too easy, no? I was surprised. I didn't really expect the news, but I later realized that it's no longer my business. Now this may sound hypocritical, but I am sincerely happy he's happy now.

He was apologetic for a couple of texts, and I would understand why he is. He said he was feeling guilty of having a new girlfriend before I had a new boyfriend, and that 6 months is too short of a time. I would think that too, I guess. But thinking about it, I've already moved on too. And the only difference is that I am in a relationship with the world. 

I know he's sincere with it. He's a good guy. But I wanted to free him from that feeling, because really, aside from and more than the fact that I've moved on myself, what he does no longer concerns me.

We had a good talk about it, and I am happy that we had the conversation. I remember How I Met Your Mother's "No Pressure" episode. This moment reminded me of Ted's realization about his relationship with Robin. It's done, and it's the official step that we had to have. Here and now is a good place and time. I am thankful for exactly this minute, this second.

"...it's like making a new chapter even more official. i feel so free. congrats to us. ... am excited for our own lives. :) ..."

A line from our exchanges.

We both agreed that the talk really made us more comfortable with each other, that we are both happy in our separate ways now. Wala nang awkward moments. 

Ending things without a clear reason is always a difficult thing. Difficult because the acceptance stage will linger a while longer, because you do not know exactly what you are accepting. But the thing that I probaly picked up from this is that not everything needs a reason. I am one of those logical people who always relies on reason more than intuition; so you could just imagine me trying to figure things out. But in the end, knowing the reason no longer matters. It's about valuing your life and not being trapped in a world that no longer exists. You paint your world, so pick up the bright colors.

It's like watching one of those investigation shows, and the case ends up not being solved. It's difficult to move on from, you formulate theories, obssess about it for some time, but you eventually forget it and move on. It's a more interesting story, in my opinion. And you learn more from it, because you get to look at a lot of angles. It makes for good growth.

We are now completely free from each other. And I am looking forward to meeting the one for me. :)

"The first guideline in using your time wisely is to remember that today is the most important day of your life. If you live in the past, there is no hope for the future; if you live in the future, there is no hope for today. Tomorrow may never come, the past is a matter of record, but today lies in your grasp. If you would use today wisely, you must remember that time doesn't slip through your hand an hour at a time. It trickles through your fingers a second at a time. Make up your mind that every second is important." - Dr. Harold Sala

Chapter 2, here we go.

March of April

So I finally graduate from college, officially! I've been working for a good 5 months now so going back to UP to finally march on stage elicits some mix of emotions.

I miss UP, UP Engg, my friends, classmates, orgmates, favorite eating spots, "ate mainlib" where i used to always eat, "kuyate" (because we don't know if s/he's a kuya or an ate) from Beach House, etc. I miss UP. The culture, the people.

I cried when the dedication video prepared by the Engg Student Council for the graduating batch was played. Spot on. Good job ESC.

It was nice to see my profs, some batchmates (because my orig batchmates graduated last year), and classmates. To be within the green campus. See Oble. Get dehydrated out of heat. Stand for a few hours to wait for the start of the ceremony. Sweat. Smile. Take pictures.

I will forever be thankful to UP. You taught me a lot. And most of it are the things I learned outside of the classroom. Thank you for shaping me to what I am now: part strong, part soft, part nice, part bitch, part friendly, part shy, part bold, part critical. And mostly smart. oops. :)

Thank you for the people I met. The relationships I formed. The failures and successes that you so kindly put me through. 

I will forever be thankful. I owe you a lot. Honor and Excellence, I promise to always uphold. 

In my own way, I promise that you'll be proud of me.

Thank you UP. Thank you UP Engg. It was a nice journey. The ride was epic.

Philippine fields forever

Hello there! (the angel from my nightmare.. sorry had to sing hohoho.)

Am currently here at Pangasinan for work. This month our MT program involves us doing fieldwork. Was assigned under the North team *jackpot!* so i get to travel up north and explore (di naman. nadaanan lang. drama lang ang "explore") norte. That's an "at last!" check for me as I really don't get to travel much. And since sagot ni company ang accommodations and food, well halo! Nakangiti ang bulsa at katauhan ko. Hmmmyey!

We've been going to the different areas of Nueva Ecija and Pangasinan, visiting stations and talking to dealers (of stations, dear friend) and doing our job. Dapat lang naman di ba. Hah. One thing's for sure. The stations in the provinces (to where I've been to, at least) are way better than our branches in Manila. By "better" i mean they look cleaner, are a lot bigger, and have that "maaliwalas" look since the sun shines brighter doon (dito) (chos).

I will post a few photos next time. Am too lazy to transfer files from ze phone to laptop. Just wanted to write an entry dahil ambilis ng internet dito sa Regency Hotel (Pangasinan)! Pero it's not a beautiful place (harsh ghoent!!). Greenland Leisure Suites in Nueva Ecija, where we stayed last night, was gorgeous (taray!)! I posted a few photos from there in my previous entry, but will look for more shots on my phone to share. Hihi.

I really hope I can get to travel more this year. My roadtrip adventures this month made me realize and re-realize that

(1) I suck at Philippine geography
(2) Cowboy mode is always a handy trait
(3) I haven't been to a lot of places (manila area included)
(4) I really like photography
(5) I love the Philippines

Grade 4 palang ako, alam ko nang mahina ako sa geography. I will never forget, naka-line of 7 ako sa Philippine geography nung grade 4. My teacher had to talk to me (dahil nadisqualify ako sa something something because of this) and i cried (a crybaby here!). I have no plans of memorizing our map, but being more familiar with what goes up north and what goes down south is a good start. Naman.

Am a cowboy and a girly-girl. I get that every now and then. Chameleon lang ang peg oha. Its nice to be able to be both, so I get to do and enjoy more things. Char. (I think idagdag narin natin ang bading sa listahan ng multiple personalities ko)

I.must.change.this. Manila, and all (wish lang naman, pangarap) of the Philippines, I will try to conquer a few of your kingdoms this year!

Thank you dear cellphone. I have no budget for a "nice" camera right now but your services are much appreciated. Cheers to more photos ahead!

This one is a giveaway. Ang puso ko will always be with the Philippines, kahit na maraming "kahit na" na karugtong ang sentence na to. Karinyong brutal and trato ko sa Pilipinas pero still, it's a form of love! <3

2012, please cooperate! I have high hopes. <3

Spikes of appreciation

Shiz. It's been 2 months since I last wrote here! Sorry for neglecting you dear blog, you know how lazy I can get sometimes.

So, how are ya?

----

Thank you digital diary. You don't accumulate cobwebs nor dust else I would've been even more lazy to "clean" you up and make an entry. Hey, low maintenance. What a catch.

You've missed a lot since the last time I updated you. Sorry about that. Adventures, late nights, work, and some little things that make my life interestingly normal. Take note. I have a few "late nights" whipped under my bank of memories now. Am still the same cinderella but ze parents are a little more lenient now (i think). Dang ang saya pala!

The thing about my work now is that the thing I like about it is pretty much the same thing that I don't like about it. This just says how much of a walking contradiction I am. And how much I use the word thing. dumbwordalert.

Work is spontaneous -- in terms of schedule, of what we do. Almost day to day, lucky if we know exactly what's in for next week. And i love that! Before reality (ghoent code: reality = life after school; hence Jump to Reality) fell from the sky and into my lap, I was as OC and stiff as your typical control freak. But I like contradicting myself and have recently started to learn to always explore new things, to appreciate new perspectives. And this is really something that I am enjoying now.

Am learning so much more with this "yes man" attitude. Thankfully my work is cultivating this seed in me, making me enjoy life better and experience the most trivial "adventures" that kids today get to do without a hiccup. Although I must admit, I don't always love this setup. My old ways of liking structure and planning is still very much in my veins; and I have no plans of completely removing that. So it can get a little frustrating when I can't commit to things because my current list of priorities places work on top of the list. Ya know. Responsable mode on syempre.

Bottomline though: I love my work. Where I am now. And the people around me. Work's too happy it's scary. Been having that thought meddle with my good vibes recently, counterintuitive if you think about it. But seriously, I am enjoying exactly where I am now, that Iv'e been brushed to this direction by north and south winds; those that I tried to go against and those where I completely let myself go and just embraced.

I guess what im saying here is. I am at a place where there's so much to be thankful for. So, thank you.

Thank you, more please. If you will.


--
photos by me, from my trustee cam phone (as always). photoshopped, of  course.

The day(s) I was a gas girl. Seriously.

Wooozah! I can now cross out being a gas girl off my list of adventures to try. I don't actually have a list; but loading jeepneys, tricycles, motorbikes and private cars with gas/diesel is too interesting to not be part of a list to cross out. Oo na lang, di ba?

Some of my MT (Management Trainee) batchmates

We had a 12day workweek from December 5-16 so to say that I was busy was dead true. Even had to skip my friend's wedding (which was scheduled since last year!) because of schedule conflicts.

Anywaaaaay.

Part of the MT Program is the immersion of the MTs in gas stations. I won't go into the details but the bottomline is we were assigned at different Seaoil  stations (depending on our location) to perform Service Crew (aka gas girl/boy) and Cashiering duties. We underwent training and even took a finals (hands on and written) exam to validate our knowledge. C'mon. I perfected the service crew hands on exam! HAHA. Potential career!

Seaoil - Nangka Branch

I was assigned at Seaoil Nangka with Eric and Nico. Saturday, I worked the first shift (6am-2pm), and Sunday, the 2nd shift (2pm-10pm). People there are extremely nice! I enjoyed my whole stay and I think we'll be back on January to fulfill more duties! Egzoiting!

Extreme 97 for Sir!

Ma'am Mary (the cashier for our shift) was too kind and called me from the cashier's booth (I was the cashier for that day!) and volunteered to take my picture filling gas to a customer. Mabait at game si kuya so great! Hohoho.

Totalizer Reading

Dipstick Reading

Counting money as we turn over for the next shift

Too bad I was alone on my 2nd shift when these pics were taken. Nico and Eric took the first shift that day. Next time, I'll take pictures of the three of us!

Seriously. My MT friends and I already miss gassing up in stations! I was able to experience all types of vehicles except trucks. Scuuured. Haha. I now have a whole new level of respect for the work that they do there. It's not as easy as you think! But it's way more fun than it seems. Hahaha. Whats!

Rules of engagement

One less to the unemployed statistic, cheers! And the celebration doesn't stop at being employed; but extends to being hired at a position, and industry, and more importantly, company that I am happy to work for.

I have only been "working" for SEAOIL Philippines Inc. for 3 days now, but in that 3 days I can say that this is going to be a long-term relationship that I intend to take care of.

Rewind: Yes, I have really wanted to work in the energy sector. And yes, an oil company is as lucky as I can get. And the best part, is that I am a Management Trainee here; a post that will allow me to learn a lot and explore different paths. It's really an opportunity that I am thankful and grateful for. (Sobra!)

Working for SEAOIL is a whole different story. It's one thing to be happy that you are doing what you love, and a whole new bonus to work for a company that you believe in. I did not know a lot about SEAOIL prior to being an employee (except for their history that I reviewed for the interviews, syempre), but knowing and experiencing their core and culture has just been overwhelming.

It's probably one of the many reasons why every day I fall more in love with SEAOIL. It's because our values are so much aligned (read: INTEGRITY, among 6) that sharing the same path with them is not just career and knowledge enriching, but also individually reinforcing.

I say (write) "working" with quotation marks because honestly, I think I should be paying SEAOIL for teaching me an immense amount of knowledge in just a span of 3 days. Seriously. Didn't feel like work at all. It's like attending a seminar that's of great value. I expect no less in the coming days (adventures - literally up for next week!), and I look forward to every single day ahead.

My official first day at work was last Friday. But a day before that, Thursday (apir Rebecca Black-ish!), my MT batchmates and I (there are 9 of us) had lunch with the Chairman (founder) and VPs and Senior managers/officers of the company. It was an intimate meet-and-greet (artista lang!) slash welcoming (i think) to the company. The 9 of us were seated a seat apart, with the VPs and officers/managers seated in between to chat and enjoy over lunch.

Florabel, The Podium.

Us MTs were early so caught the setting up stage. The only pic I took, of course.

That alone is an act that I truly admire. They are the type of owners that you see in the office that actually smile back and really talk to employees (unlike in other big companies where you only see your "big boss/owner" once in your career life, or maybe even never). One of the VPs (one of the Chariman's sons) has actually been our mentor/speaker for the past 2 days; and he is awesome. I don't use that word - ever - because I prefer the word amazing - but he's just freaking awesome. And I don't mean in a Barney Stinson loud kind of way, but in a silent-killer inspiring kind of way. Walang ere. None at all. But very inspiring and has the great balance of knowledge and wisdom. Awesome.

Dang. I hope this doesn't look like a sponsored post. HAHA. I really want to talk about the company and my first three days but I'd like this to be more of an I'm-so-happy-I-just-cant-stop-thanking type of entry. So thank You thank You thank You.

I don't think my words can ever justify how I happy I am and how amazing (see, I like that word) SEAOIL is. Of course, I've only been here three days, so we'll see if I still feel the same way in a few months, or years.

And yes, if before being hired by SEAOIL I can get to pick the oil company I'd work for, it wouldn't be my first choice.

But now that I know and understand a lot more, ask me again and I'll stay with SEAOIL - in a heartbeat.