Pink 5ive

I guess I felt it. The slow loss of your warmth. But I never really wanted to see it, as I always only thought of it as you being tired with work. And of course, you had all the right to be tired. So I wanted just to be there massaging you when you have headaches, or gliding my fingers through your hair as I fix it; even though you look amazing whether or not you comb.

It's all my fault; I now realize.

Realizations only come when we are somewhere between the stages of being hurt and moving on. It's when we're a little past that stage of sudden crying while taking a bath, commuting, or eating; and right at the start of the phase of being strong and regrouping your life.

Then you ask yourself, "are these realizations, absolute truths, or my truths?"

I remember you in everything that I do. I walk around Megamall and remember our dates; I eat at World Chicken and I think of our usual order. Heck, my bed sheets now are a gift from your parents. But I take them all in. I close my eyes and savor the memories, and try to smile as I fight my tears.

Am I now really starting to regroup? Am I actually able to stand up from this in less than a month? I do not have a choice. I may be rushing into healing that I only get to put band aids on my wounds without really cleaning and treating them. But. The world won't wait for me. I gotta keep up.

It doesn't really matter. Whatever gets you going, whatever will help you become a better person, and whatever will help you heal your shattered heart, is all the truth you need. Trust yourself in knowing what you did right and what you did wrong. And it will be easier to move along with truths that are accepted by the heart and mind.

Acceptance. You acknowledge, you nod. And you hope that it may change. You accept, you embrace. And let go of your own ways. I still cry and get sad every now and then. I acknowledge that. But for now, the world leaves me with no choice but to a life that is to start from scratch.

And I embrace it.

---
Freewriting while idle earlier in the afternoon. Started this trail of thought when I heard Silent Sanctuary's "Pink 5ive" play on the radio, hence the title.

Some vital piece of information

So not in the mood to blog. But, I really think I have to share this piece of information to everyone out there. Have to pay forward, cause I've been lucky these past few days.

Now to the point! I have recently been called back from a job (that I really prayed for) and got accepted! YEY ME!! Thank You God.

They emailed me a list of some of my partial requirements, and one of them is a nightmare to get; the NBI Clearance.

We've all heard the story. People having to line up at 3-4am (some even at 1am!) just to make it to the 500-applicants-per-day cutoff. It's a shame, really, as it reflects the system (or the lack of it) of our government.

To know why such lines exist, just google it.
**In a nutshell, everyone's now considered as a new applicant, no more renewals, so lines are crazy. (Approve the ID System NOW!!)**

So the question is, where to get your clearance without having to waste an entire day waiting, waiting, and waiiiiting? The answer, at Robinson's Otis!

Haven't heard of it prior to my need of a location for a more "convenient"  place to get my clearance. It's relatively an unheard-of Robinson's branch so people don't really know that they can get their clearance from there. (And really, it's not too commuter-friendly. Weird location. Or maybe am just not familiar with the place.)

Fastforward: I got a hold of my clearance after 3 hours! NOT BAD AT ALL. If you google for NBI experiences, you'll get to read stories saying they lined up at 4am and got their clearance at 4pm, or something along the lines of that! My sister's got a first hand experince of this from Ronbinson's Metro East. She lined up at 6am and got her clearance at around 5pm. And I think she's lucky, cause from what I've heard recently, at 5am the 500 slots are all already filled.

I could have gotten my clearance from Rob Otis at a much less time if only I had taken note of the following:

1. I went there on a Tuesday (November 8), and arrived at 1:11pm (finished at exactly 4pm!). Monday (November 7) was a holiday.
My mistake: It was the start of the week!
Should have: Lined during midweek. i.e., Wednesday, Thursday
Another improvement: Should've been there a little earlier. I think the best time would be immediately after lunch. Like 12:30pm. But going really early is a good strategy too, i think. Go for 8 am if you're within the area! I don't know if they take lunch breaks, but if they do, then that's another story.

2. I took the long route. I came from UP Diliman to process some documents and when I googled for commute instructions, all I found were LRT-1 instructions.
Rewind: From UP, I took a jeep to Katipunan, boarded the LRT-2 Katipunan Station and alighted at Recto Station. Then crossed to LRT 1 Doroteo Jose Station (they are connected via bridge), then squeezed my way into the train and alighted at UN Avenue Station. I then took a tricycle (10 pesos. Do not take a pedicab!) to the mall.
My mistake: Taking the LRT all the way to Recto. And having to go through the crazy LRT 1 sardinas mayhem.
Should have: Alighted at Pureza station of LRT 2!

Fastorward: My route FROM Robinson's Otis after getting my clearance (I was too tired to go all the way back to LRT 1 so I asked kuya guard for some commute routes. Go me!) : Rode a jeep from the mall front, and asked kuya driver for Nagtahan Bridge (alight in front of Save More. 8 pesos). From Nagtahan Bridge, you can just walk (I could've walked this distance. But I was tireeeed and had some girl hormones acting up so took a jeep instead. 8 pesos) to Pureza station (just ask to which direction). A warning though: if you are not a fan of walking, then ride a jeepney! From estimates, its probably shorter than a kilometer but heh. 5-10minutes walk maybe. =)

So, you'll just have to research the commute way FROM Pureza Station to Robinson's Otis. And save yourself from the chaos of LRT 1 and even get to save some commute coins.

Some more tips:
1. If you plan on going alone (like me!), then do not be shy to ask your seatmate (they have waiting areas that are airconditioned and have proper chairs. Wooot!) to save your seat when you have to go to the restroom (or buy some waffles for lunch, like me. hohoho). Leave a folder behind or something. NOT your belongings, of course!

2. Bring plenty of water and snacks. I paid 20 pesos for a bottle of water (because I already finished my own bottle) and had to buy some quick lunch/meryenda beacuse I didn't have food with me, and because it was embarassing to have my seat reserved while I order some "real fast food".

3. Always bring a pen with you! Always. Did you know that pens are a common ground for bacteria? (I forgot where I read this. But makes a lot of sense.)

4. Come there weeks before you need your clearance. I got mine the same day because I didn't have a "hit" (aka my name didn't match any ~criminal's~ name who has a record.). If you are not too lucky (like my seatmate. or if you have the most common name ever), then they'll ask you to come back weeks after. (seatmate was asked to return on November 21. ouch.).

Okay. what else. That's it I guess.

Goodluck!

One door closed, another opened.

I woke up to some great news today. And I am just overwhelmed at how God finds ways to help me see everything's purpose for happening. This day is a great day for me. And I can't thank God enough for all the blessings.

I want to give back by holding an inventory sale, and basically almost give away these pretty Weber Bow babies. I just want to start fresh by clearing out stocks, and at the same time pay forward all the kindness that God has blessed me with.

Hope you all have a great long weekend ahead! Always enjoy and savor the moment! =)

---
Details of the sale can be found here:
http://ghoentjunior.multiply.com/photos/album/51/
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.186508891410957.46659.186491434746036&type=3

Aaaand that's it.

4 years and 5 months. Not bad. Actually, it wasn't bad at all. I loved every minute of it, and will forever treasure that defining part of my life.

But I have to be in touch with the reality that its now all over. Open my eyes each waking day and just remember to forget it. To put it all behind me.

Thank you, for everything. You changed me, and I am thankful for that.

I am happy that we are ending this with all the respect that we have for each other intact. I am happy that no harsh words were thrown out when we were dealing with it. I am happy that we are mature in dealing with the situation. I am happy that we think and we feel.

But essentially, I will have to find myself again to be able to be really happy, in its most simple definition, again.

As much as I don't want to be too melodramatic about it, this being my very first breakup and nonetheless from a 4year5month relationship is I think too much to handle for me. I've just been too happy for the longest time that I've been blindsided by this much pain.

For now, I continue to pray that I bounce back soon from this emotional torture. I am thankful to friends who have helped me and listened to me. I am truly grateful.

And I am thankful to the world for making me realize that yes, you will continue to roll even if I feel like not rolling.

The best teachers really do not care. They just teach.

The day I cut a few things

I truly hope I get to keep this post short. Because on this day, the day I cut my boyfriend's hair, I ended up cutting a lot more.

Tools

Before the renegade

Libreng gupit! (excuse the pambahay outfitey)

Evidence

After

So, how did I do? I let boyfriend use one of my loose pambahays as his "haircut shirt", then he showered after all the feeling-propesyunal-na-barbero stint of mine was over. Not a lot was cut off but boyfriend likes it. He says i'll do all of his future haircuts from now on. Coolio.

My boyfriend. My boyfriend. The. Boyfriend.

Ah.

The day after this haircut happened, the boyfriend and I had a fight.

That was last week.

No it wasn't because of the haircut.

It was serious. Scary serious.

We've never had a major fight in our four years and four months of being together.

Until this day. Or well, last week.

A lot of things that has never been said and done, were said and done. A lot of emotions, a lot of.. yes. I don't wanna bore you.

And I don't wanna cry.

I should say, without any exaggeration, that I've had the greatest scare of my life this day. Or well, last week. And it had something to do with me having to cut everything off with my life. (ghoent code: my life = my bf) 

Lalalala.

Don't judge.

Thank God.

Thank God.

We are working things out now.

We are talking, and healing, and learning from all that happened.

I learned a lot. I really did.

I pray that what was cut, will be replaced by something new.

I know that it will never be the same.

But I sure pray that it's  a lot stronger.

Today we hit our largest bump yet. Or well, last week.

There are some scratches. But I know it's all in the surface.

And deep down, we're still in it for the long haul.

At least I hope so.

And I truly and will forever pray so.

And will surely unendlessly work hard for.

And certainly [wish I] know so.

Thank you, cellphone.

Dedicating this post to my dear cell phone, for being with me always during random moments that I feel like being a photographer. Does having eight photos in a post make it photo-heavy? 

Rain, the aftermath

A worm's view

Wish you were working

Leave but don't kill

Glare and aratilis

Feel your heart beat

No change for Ikot

More than freedom

*I read your mind!* Suggestion noted, I'll no longer be putting "titles" on my photos next time (if there's a next time). Because yes I suck at it. Sometimes I want it serious, most times I want it to mean nothing.

My hands have way too many lines.

Hope you all had a great weekend!